Vacation Day Four: The Lost & Found.
OK, I’m going to assume that most everyone can remember going to grade school and taking that walk down the dark hallway to the dreaded cave. That place where your future as a 8-year-old teeters in the balance. That place you have to go through, after which your reunion with Mom and Dad will either be filled with hugs, milk and a couple of Oreo cookies… or unimaginable, cruel and ghastly tortures. That place where your destiny and the loss of that new pair of gloves that Grandma gave you for your birthday collide; the Lost & Found. I remember such a moment, and watching my life pass before my tear-filling eyes. Now, considering I was only eight at the time, it was more like a very quick Disney movie trailer. My teacher, Mrs. Yelverton (the name itself still sends chills), holding my hand and walking me somberly down the long…………endless………foreboding hallway to the office where “the room” was hidden from the outside world. I actually think some kids never came back after that long Green Mile type walk. Now that I think about it, Mrs. Yelverton looked strangely like one of the gruff & pock-faced looking prison guards in the Tom Hanks film… but I digress. The funny thing is that Lost & Found places seem to follow us even into our adulthood. College, hotels, theatres, corporate headquarters, long car rides; we just seem to keep losing things, and then try to go back to find them. Unfortunately, like the gloves, you rarely find them where you thought you left them. I’m not exactly sure why or where this image came to mind on the fourth day of my vacation, but the metaphor really feels right for what is happening in this separation process. So, here goes:
My financial security - My pennies on the street
My large house - My smallness
My closest friend - My self
My wife - My groom
My wedding band - My band of brothers
My mask - My face
My loneliness - My solitude
My words - My heart
My fears - My wounds
My anger - My open hands
My future - My moments
My childhood - My child
My lust - My Agape
My reasons - My truth
My control - My freedom
My taking - My capacity
My way - My invitation
Her - Him
Me - Him
Him - Him
You know, considering all the valuable gifts and other precious things I have lost along the way, I am amazed that now, when coming home empty-handed and fearing the worst from squandering my priceless inheritance, Dad rushes out to meet me with open arms. “While he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was moved with pity. He ran to the boy, clasped him in his arms and kissed him. The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring out the best robe and put it on him; put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the calf we have been fattening, and kill it; we will celebrate by having a feast, because this son of mine was dead and has come back to life; he was lost and is found.’ And they began to celebrate.” [Luke 15:20-24]
At some point I think we must all grapple with the fact that there is a fine line between the pig sty and the party.
Vacation Day Five: The Bare Feet of Rain Puddles.
QUESTION: So, what have you lost...and found lately?
SUGGESTED BLOGS: 1) The Henri Nouwen Society. www.henrinouwen.org. Wonderful daily meditations/reflections. He is noted by a number of fellow spelunkers on my blog and the primary author I read during this separation. Books of particular note: Return of the Prodigal Son. Also, Reaching Out. 2) Leading from the Sandbox: www.leadingfromthesandbox.blogspot.org. This essential leadership blog is from T.J. Addington, a close friend, mentor, leader and one of my Band of Brothers. He is the person who introduced me to Nouwen, these books and whose own recent story of "There and back again" is an inspiration and reminder that God listens.
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2 comments:
Great question: Over the past year, I lost most of my interest in wanting much of any kind of relationship with The Lord, after being misled in a very big way by a self proclaimed, devout Christian believer who serves on the board of an organization I was a member of. (Membership requires very high standards of conduct in personal, professional, and spiritual life). I thought I was responding to God’s call for kingdom purposes, and eventually, found myself in an impossible situation with him. As a result, one thing after another, after another, etc. kept unwinding like a falling domino effect - including my faith. Subsequently, I didn’t really have any interest in this relationship with God, or “Christian” people any more (except for my wise Godmother).
What I have found –after about 18 months of a seemingly endless, dry, wilderness experience is: (1) Much greater perspectives of faith than I ever knew before, and (2) God’s rebuilding of my life (still in process) in a much deeper way than I could have imagined. (3) Greater compassion to relate to the struggles of others and (4) That God has much more work to do within me.
The welcomed shift began after I heard the testimony of someone whose ministry in the Middle East had experienced life-threatening bombing incidents, along with rejections of his truths (that were eventually bourne out) by some of the most respected Christian educational leaders in the U.S. Despite these unwanted experiences that were “out of his control”, he is more on fire for God and His work than ever. This testimony revitalized my faith and I gladly became “unstuck”. As has been said before, God cannot richly use us until we have gone through brokenness.
Gvingventures: Is it one of faith's ambiguities, that sometimes to really FIND God, we have to LOSE "our way"...then through some stumbling through deserts, and jungles, and those crowds that gather at the costume parties professing their perfect portrayal of the all the right looks of Christianity...you find your self amidst the mascara streaks and threadbare remnants.
Gives more meaning the Ghandi quote, something like: "I love your Christ, but not your Christians."
Curisoly, when I was early in my introduction to Christianity when working with EMI Christian Music Group, remember that 'nice Jewish boy from Brooklyn", one associate who was struck by my background and role working with EMI gently said,"I hope you will not judge Christianity by the Christians you will meet." As I have experienced both the good, and the underbelly of faith, I have been blessed to mostly have joyfully discovered that "being" Christian and "doing" Christianity is not found in any rules or among 3000 of your intimate friends on Sunday...but in places found, like late last night as I sat with a friend who shared with me her fear of a discovered lump in her breast, her fear of sharing that with her friends because she didn't want to be a burden, as if she did not deserve their involvement and thanked me for hearing, seeing and loving her.
And all I had done was take the time to go by after a long day to say hello and ask about her life.
I say spelunking in dark caves yields gems reveals gems.
tyhi (there you have it)
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