This is the first week where there has not been any comments posted in response to a book segment...I think. :) This does not suprise me, as the content was fairly dark and hurtful for both Valerie and me. One of the amazing parts of this process has been the experience of revisiting the story in deliberate segments. Four years later I thought I was past most of the feelings. Not the case. Here's what I gain from this "ah ha":
- You never forget -- the feelings, both light and dark just get tucked into a chest of drawers, or in some cases deep in a pants pocket. One remains filed for those moments when you open the drawer and bring them out into the; and then you close the drawer once again. The other you carry on your self. The more you carry, the heavier it gets. Not to say anything about how strange you look with these bulging protrusions on each hip; not a good look and not easy to walk. Bad picture.
- After years of carrying heavy objects and screwing up my wardrobe, I celebrate the realization and acceptance of a God who asks...let me say this again -- He ASKS us to take it all off our shoulders, or in this case out of our pockets. BTW...he'll move the furniture, too!
See along in the "cave-way" .
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2 comments:
Pain. Hurt. But also LONGING....
The Balti: Thanks for the comment. Hadn;t really thought much about the longing aspect till you put that in. Yes, the longing for companionship, someone to just hold me, someone in any way to tell me that I wasn't a totally bad person...and mostly longing to be a better man. And, I must say that "longing" does not have to be a negative concept, as it also reminds us that if we are striving to grow and learn we can partner with the fact of celebrating the "state of becoming". Never done on the long[ing] journey.
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