Thursday, June 26, 2008

Right, I know it's not Wednesday!

OK...I missed my post promise for Wednesday. Fact is that I am in St. Louis at a leadership conference for the EFCA, and although my heart was goin' & blowin'...my brain was slowin' & towin'. So, a day later slightly more energy, here's my response to the comments both posted and emailed:
  • You all seem to support and respond to the tonality of the book writing style: honest, raw, transparent, real;
  • I am very encouraged by the many people who have made comments like, "I am eager to read what comes next," and "I feel like I can digest what's been written, reflect on it and then get ready for the next chapters";
  • The length of the segment posting feels right to people;
  • You all feel like I need to let up on myself a bit...well, as said before I am in a better place today than where I was when this was written. And OK, I know some of you are saying I still ahve a tendency to minimize myself.... Accepted. And do not ever want to forget that my "I" is minute in the bigger mosaic. As a matter of fact I think we'd all have a better chance of moving ahead if we'd consider getting out of our own way;
  • Everyone thinks Bentley looks great in glasses.
So, here's the major thing I will leave you wit that I have experienced as of this date:
QUESTION: Let me hear from you why you think some people have chosen to send my emails with very poignant, humble, transparent, honest sharing of feelings about some aspect of the writing. How this or that thought reminded them of their own masks or mirror images. Hurts. Struggles. Encouragement to see me exhibit courage to.... And, when I ask them why they didn;t post the comment, they reply, "I did not feel comfortable being so honest in public." Hmmm...I am public! Why trust me? Why not consider that anyone who HAS commented is likely feeling many of the same things I am...or they are feeling? I am not safe (whatever "safe" means).

So, what do you really risk if you share it...and what do you risk if you don't.

tyhi (there you have it)

B&B

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I recently read this excerpt from Nouwen's "Wounder Healer" and immediately thought of you and the way you're following God's prompting to document your story - and His -

"On the one hand, no minister can keep his own experience of life hidden from those he wants to help. Nor should he want to make it hidden... Making one's wounds a source of healing, therefore, does not call for a sharing of superficial personal pains but for a constant willingness to see one's own pain and suffering as rising from the depth of human condition which all men share."

Brian, thanks for letting us be a part of your story/God's story. Thanks for being willing to share both the wounding and the healing - and thereby allowing your story/His story - to become a source of healing for others.

Unknown said...

Great questions, Brian. Risk is inevitable if you are going to have an honest relationship with anyone, including yourself. I think you risk the haunting feeling of wondering what people are really thinking about you if you let down the screen and allow people to look in. However, if you don't let down the screen you take the even greater risk of living alone in a world where only you and God see the truth. Hiding leads to more hiding and eventually you either believe the lie or become even more convinced that nobody would ever want to look into your life.......

Great job of letting us look in!

Brian Kagan said...

Amy: you are the second person referring to Henri Nouwen, and this book is one of my favorites. Deep and piercing. So real. It is reassuring that what I write might connect in this way. Great daily devotional to consider and other resources: www.henrinouwen.org

Brian Kagan said...

Kevin: Well said. You comment reminds me of the many times people speak to me about wanting to protect themse4lves and others they care for from the many things in the owrld that can harm you, one of which might be letting people see behind hte screen (love that image!). The other thoughts is how many people do not want to post real, raw feelings like yours, because they are concerned the world might really see their vulnerability. NEWS FLASH: You are not hiding anything! People might not see the truth...but they do feel when someone is not letting them in, or when a barrier is there, or when you say when asked how things are you say fine. FINE = Frustrated Insecure Neurotic Emotionally Unstable.

NEWS FLASH #2: You CAN protect yourself from everything out there that can hurt you by closing yourself off. You WILL also protect and shut yourself off from everything that is good and wonderful and joyful.

Choice is ours -- comes with the journey.